Have you visited the Land of Oblivion? Did you come back?
I’ve been there. And this is my story…
On my way toward adulthood, I struggled like most of you. I studied hard in college (most of the time), had good, innocent fun with friends (okay, maybe not so innocent) and worked on figuring out who I am and who I wanted to be. There were days that it was tough and days that it was easy. There were moments when I wasn’t sure I would figure it out.
I read self-help book after self-help book in an effort to “find myself” and to be a better person…to accomplish more, to be more. I wanted to live my dreams and I had to change and grow to get them.
And then, life got better. And, a little blurry.
You can watch the video of this blog post here:
You see, I found the love of my life, got married, bought a house, had two kids and had a good job. I was living “the dream”! And it was comfortable.
But this new found comfort made my drive towards “better” fade into the background. In essence, life became blurry. I was successful. And, I was successfully going through my day to day tasks from one day to the next day, and then the next day, and the next day, and the next…
Life had become blurry, but not so fast that I noticed it. And honestly, I was comfortable with the blur in my life. But, over time, my days became less rewarding, less fulfilling, less…everything. My days had become almost forgettable.
This is what I call the Land of Oblivion.
It is the place where most people get stuck and it’s so easy to stay because it takes a long time for anything to seem, well, to seem wrong. You see, I was living “the dream”, but it wasn’t my dream. Now, don’t misunderstand me, I love my family, but I was allowing taking care of my family to replace my dreams. Without going after my dreams, I became complacent about life.
Is this where you live?
Get Unstuck
There’s no shame. It’s easy to get there. And to tell you the truth, it’s easy to leave the Land of Oblivion once you realize you’re there. All it takes is a moment for you to slow down, listen to your inner voice and understand what it is that you want. Then put into motion a plan that takes you where you want to go.
Again, just in case you missed it: to get out, you have to recognize where you are, what you want and challenge yourself to go for it…without excuses.
Ask yourself: What goal excites you? Where do you want to be in 1 year, 5 years, 10 years? Where do you want to go? What do you want to accomplish? What do you want to see when you look back on your life in 20 years?
Don’t let the Land of Oblivion swallow your dreams. Your dreams were meant for you!
Be BOLD and Kick Your “Stuck” to the Curbâ„¢
I loved your blog post. I am glad you found your bliss and went for it.
Maria, thank you! I’m so glad you enjoyed the post – I hope the questions at the end are helpful for you. 🙂
Liked it very much! Feels good to read positive stuff, and glad you did it right. 🙂
Thanks Kalpit! I like the word “positive”, but actually striving for “powerful”…I’ll work harder! 😉
This is a great post! I never thought about calling it the Land of Oblivion, but it fits! No, I’m not there any more but I was. When you are growing a family, you tend to put your stuff in a mental “To Do Someday” file. Then, when they are all growed up, you realize that you are your own person again, and you have forgotten how to think about what you might want. Heck, I forgot my name wasn’t KC’s Mom… took me years to realize that people were actually talking to me when they used my given name… I like your questions, or I would if (a) I was still stuck and (b) if I wasn’t currently stuck on a speed bump… if you know what I mean. At 58, I want to be ambulatory in 5 years, still rocking and still wearing the same size jeans. If I’m not ambulatory, I want a Turbo Hoverround with nitrous oxide tanks strapped on and painted with ghost flames… one that will do 75 in the fast lane on the NJ Turnpike. I want to go to Egypt – except that it is wildly unsafe, so I think I will settle for the Jersey Shore, with occasional excursions to concerts in Philly – when is Lynryd Skynyrd coming? I am still working on what I want to accomplish – every day it kind of changes and evolves. If I am around to look back on my life in 20 years, I want to see a woman who was wildly happy in her life, totally present in her life, and leaving every day better than she found it.
Sandi – you had me laughing out loud! On the one hand, I would love for you to be ambulatory, on the other hand, I want a picture of your Turbo Hoverround with the ghost flames and nitrous oxide tanks! LOL! Probably smart not to go to Egypt, though I understand the pull…I’ve always wanted to visit Greece, but I’m happy to replace with something else if it involves potential death (currently avoiding that). So happy to hear from you and I hope you come by again – you’re fun!!
I used to fight the idea of being “me” and helping others because the partner said I didn’t need to work – he would take care of me.
That worked for several years and then I became depressed because I wasn’t finding fulfillment in my life. I felt “dull” and useless.
That’s when I decided to come online and be the helper I know I can be. Life has been grand and I am every so greateful that i was able to return from the Land of Oblivion and realize my drea – to be a helper of people!
Bonnie – that’s so sad! Being uniquely you is what makes you so fascinating and special. I’m so glad that you got past the “dull” and fought to find you. Yahoo!