The Pursuit of Happiness
Happiness. We’re drawn into the notion that this is what life is all about. Don’t get me wrong, it feels great to be happy! And as a culture, we seek it on a regular basis.
In the United States alone, every month, the word “happiness” is searched on Google over 1 Million times. And is it any wonder? From childhood, we’re told over and over again that we need to be happy…happy with who we are, what we’ve got and where we’re going. As we grow older, we see smiling pictures of people in magazines and experts and gurus telling us that it’s possible to be happy all of the time.
The Happiness Myth
Is it? Is it possible to be happy all the time? What about your other emotions? Does the pursuit of happiness diminish the importance of your other emotions? And what if one of the other emotions overtakes happiness in your life, does that mean you’ve failed as a person?
Happiness in every moment of your day sounds like a great goal to achieve. Who doesn’t want to be happy? For years, experts and gurus have known that by perpetuating the ideology about all of the ways that you can be happy every moment of your life and not feel negative emotions, well, it sells books and fills workshops. It keeps the myth alive.
[features_box_azure_blue width=”75%” + border=”2px”][headline_arial_medium_centered color=”#000000″]The fact is,
you have a plethora of emotions.[/headline_arial_medium_centered][/features_box_azure_blue]
If you are to believe Paul Ekman, you have seven (7) basic emotions: Fear, Sadness, Anger, Joy, Surprise, Disgust, and Contempt. If you are to believe Dr. Carroll Izard, there are ten (10) basic emotions: Interest, Joy, Surprise, Anger, Contempt, Disgust, Distress, Fear, Guilt and Shame. On the other hand, on Robert Plutchik list of emotions, you have eight (8): Trust, Anger, Anticipation, Disgust, Joy, Fear, Sadness, and Surprise.
Even if these noted psychologists can’t agree on the number of basic emotions, what they do agree upon is that there is a composite of emotions that make up the human experience. And while some emotions are certainly more pleasant than others, you experience all of them at one point or another.
If this is true, why do we pursue happiness with such vigor? Why are we told that happiness is what we should be feeling all the time?
The fact is you can’t experience happiness all the time because:
- you have more than one emotion within you
- you have varied experiences where happiness would not be a valid response
- ignoring your other emotions denies who you are and can bring physical or even mental illness into your life
Now What?
So, are you supposed to go through life at the whims of your emotions as they come up in your life? No! Just because you can’t experience happiness all the time doesn’t mean you should allow your emotions to rule your life. However, you do need to accept that they are all a part of you, the good, the bad and the ugly.
Reset Your Life
The fact is, most people experience the most satisfaction and inner peace (which can be interpreted as happiness) when they are pursuing a challenge. True joy comes from overcoming the things in your life that you once thought were out of reach. Think about this. Can you remember a time that you were proud of yourself and felt accomplished? What about when you felt inner joy for yourself (a joy that lasted more than a few moments)? What were you doing, what were you overcoming? What had you accomplished?
I realize that setting goals for yourself to achieve and challenging yourself is filled with experiences and emotions. However, instead of trying to force yourself to feel happiness, experience your emotions as they happen! So ahead, set a goal for yourself and note your feelings as they occur, accept that it’s a part of who you are and then focus on what you are trying to accomplish. Remind yourself how you will feel when you finally accomplish your goal. Most likely when you reach your goal, you actually will feel happiness, but I bet that happiness will be diminished by all of the other emotions and thoughts that you have at that moment!
Have you found that the pursuit of happiness has left you feeling discouraged? Has this article helped? Let me know in the comments below, I would love to hear from you!
Be BOLD and Kick Your “Stuck” to the Curb™